


Slow Show

by headphonesbaby



Series: The Alchemy Between Us [1]
Category: Chicago Fire
Genre: I just really want them to get together already, Idiots in Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-22
Updated: 2021-02-22
Packaged: 2021-03-12 06:55:56
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,079
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29630805
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/headphonesbaby/pseuds/headphonesbaby
Summary: He thinks he can do this - be a friend, be her friend.  It’s what she wants, he keeps reminding himself every time he has the urge to reach out and hold her hand or touch her arm.
Relationships: Sylvie Brett/Matthew Casey
Series: The Alchemy Between Us [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2181966
Comments: 26
Kudos: 102





	Slow Show

**Author's Note:**

> Hi everyone! This is my first ever fanfic and honestly, I’m no writer but this story has been swimming in my brain for the last two weeks or so and I just needed to write it and empty it from my thoughts (like a pensieve - virtual high five if you get that Harry Potter reference). Hey, maybe this is my new quarantine skill. Who knows.
> 
> The title is the title of a song by The National and it’s one of my favorite love songs. If you haven’t listened to Slow Show, I suggest playing it in the background while reading this :)

It’s been two weeks since Sylvie called time on space. 

Like clockwork, they’ve met at the coffee pot every start of shift since then, mostly making small talk before breakfast or in some cases, before the bells go off.Sylvie shows him pictures of Amelia.Matt tells her about his latest construction gigs.

He knows it’s going to take awhile before they can go back to how they were but he’ll take whatever she’s offering right now.He smiles to himself. It’s just little moments, small pockets of time in their day but it feels _nice_ ; it’s a step towards the right direction although he can’t tell what the right direction is anymore.

He thinks he can do this - be a friend, be _her_ friend. _It’s what she wants_ , he keeps reminding himself every time he has the urge to reach out and hold her hand or touch her arm.

He makes his way to the coffee pot this morning rubbing the sleep from his eyes.He scans the room but she’s not there.He checks the time and it’s five minutes to eight.She never cuts it this close.

 _Strange_ , he thinks as he pours himself a cup.Thankfully, Capp’s no longer brewing Southern Pecan and they’re back to plain black flavourless coffee.He scans the room again, still no Sylvie.He shrugs, grabs his mug and makes his way back to his quarters to finish some paperwork.

 _So much for clockwork_ , he muses, slightly irritated.

****

It’s fifteen minutes later when he walks towards the app floor to start inventory.He spots Sylvie at the back of the ambo engrossed in counting supplies.He’s about to speak when he hears someone call her name.It’s Grainger holding two coffee cups and a bag of pastries.Matt’s somewhat confused why the lieutenant is at 51 when they’re supposed to be on the same shift but he gets distracted by the smile Sylvie sends Grainger’s way.

It’s a smile she would have given Matt about two months ago before everything imploded.One he misses every day if he’s being honest. _Be her friend_ , he repeats to himself, _it’s what she wants._ He can’t shake that feeling in his chest though.It’s like an elephant’s stepping on his lungs and he can’t breathe right. 

As he quickly turns around to head back inside, he hears her soft laughter. 

_Maybe this friends thing is going to take some time,_ he ponders.

****

During morning briefing, Boden mentions that Herrmann had to take the shift off for personal reasons.Grainger would be covering on Engine for the shift.

He feels Severide’s eyes on him.

“What?” He asks with an edge in his voice.

Severide smirks at him, “you okay there, Case?”

He grunts in response.

Severide makes a choking noise that sounds like he’s trying to stifle laugher.

Matt hits him on the arm and moves to leave as Boden ends the briefing, his mood getting darker by the minute.

As if it’s not hard enough seeing her with Grainger at Molly’s.He has to see this blossoming relationship up close for the next twenty four hours.

 _Great,_ he thinks, _just great_.He wills the day to go by faster.

****

51 is called to a two story house fire. There’s a family of four trapped inside.Matt starts barking out instructions to Severide and Grainger.Truck and Squad are doing primary search and Engine’s getting two lines in.The fire is so far confined to the second floor.

They’re able to evacuate the kids but the parents are a different story. Matt is outside changing his air bottle when he hears Severide’s voice on the radio. 

“Casey, we can’t get them out.There’s too much blood.We need the paramedics to come in and stabilize them before they can be moved.”

Matt freezes for a second.His mind wanders back to the last time he called the paramedics into a fire. 

It was the mattress factory fire.

Where they lost Otis.

Where Sylvie broke her arm and left them, _him_ , for the next three months.

He exhales.He knows what he has to do.

“Brett, Mackey, suit up and bring your jump bags,” he orders.

Once the paramedics are ready, he guides them in.He finds Severide with the father near the stairs close to the front door.

“Mackey, help this victim,” Matt says, “Brett, stay low and stay close to me.”

Matt and Sylvie find the mother in the living room with Cruz and Capp.Sylvie immediately kneels next to the victim and goes to work.For a moment, Matt is mesmerized, watching as she meticulously bandages the cut.If she’s scared to be called into another fire, she’s definitely not showing it now.

Suddenly, there’s loud bang.

Matt hears Grainger on the radio, “Captain! Smoke’s turning black, it’s not looking good.You have to get out of there fast.”

“Casey, Mackey and I are bringing the father out now,” Severide says.

Matt looks at Sylvie and asks, “Brett, we gotta go.How much longer?”

“Just give me ten more seconds, I just need to get this IV in,” Sylvie answers, “Cruz, hold this IV bag.”

“Capp, get ready to move,” Matt orders. 

The four of them slowly transport the mother out of the house.As they reach the front door, there’s another loud bang and debris starts to fall from the ceiling.Cruz and Capp quickly move the victim out of harms way and into the yard.Matt pulls Sylvie into his chest to shield her. 

They stand there for what seems like an eternity. He can hear her heart beating or maybe it’s his own. _This is nice_ , he thinks in that moment.

But then he’s sucked back into reality.

There’s some ringing in his ears.The smoke is starting to clear.He pushes Sylvie towards the door.

Once they’re safe outside, he looks at her, really looks at her, trying to see if she’s hurt anywhere.

“Are you okay?” he asks, his voice low.He’s led her into another dangerous situation.He won’t be able to forgive himself if she got hurt _again_.

Her eyes meet his, steady as ever.She responds quietly, “I’m fine.Thanks to you.”She offers him a small smile.

He’s still gazing at her, his brows furrowed, worry etched on his face.

“Casey, I’m fine.See?”She flaps her arms like a bird as if to show him nothing is broken this time.

He doesn’t know why but the silly gesture of her moving her arms around calms him. _She’s okay.She’s fine.Nothing is broken.At least not any body parts._ It’s like she knew what he was thinking before sending her in.

“Okay,” he whispers, “okay.”

She place a hand on his arm. Then, in a flash, she’s gone - off to transport their victim to Med.

The spot where she touched him feels very warm.

_Friends, yeah.He can do this right?_

_****_

It’s their second call of the day.Truck and Engine pull up to the scene of a car crash.They make quick work of extracting the victims and handing them off to the paramedics.

Matt orders the firefighters to start clean up once the scene’s cleared.He turns around to see Grainger giving him a funny look.

“You and Brett,” Grainger says as he approaches Matt.It’s not a question.

“No, there’s nothing there.We’re just friends,” Matt tries to reassure him.His voice sounds fake and hollow even to himself.

“But is that all you want to be?”

When Matt doesn’t answer.Grainger continues, “I saw the way you were looking at her after that house fire.That was a very weighted look for someone who just wants to be friends.”

When Matt still doesn’t answer, Grainger gives him one last look and moves to help his crew.

 _I just want her to be happy_ , he thinks, _I don’t think I can make her happy._ Maybe he should have told Grainger that.

****

Later at Molly’s, he’s sitting alone at the bar watching the Blackhawks game when Sylvie materializes beside him, two beers in hand.

“This one’s on me.A thank you for saving my life earlier,” she smiles, handing him one beer, her eyes twinkling.

“Just doing my job,” he shrugs, accepting the beer before noticing she was alone too.“No Grainger?” he wonders out loud.

“No,” she says, “we decided we were better off as friends.”

He looks at her then.She gives him a small smile. 

He can’t help it.He’s been pushing down his feelings for her thinking it’s what’s best for her.But suddenly,there’s hope blooming in his chest.The elephant crushing his lungs has seemed to ease up a bit. 

_Friends,_ he thinks, _he can work with that._

_For now._

_****_

It’s three weeks after the house fire when Sylvie approaches him in his quarters.It’s the first time she’s seeking him out again - not that he’s counting or anything.

“Hey,” she says, “Cruz and Chloe are having a Stranger Things marathon this weekend.They’re inviting a bunch of people from 51 and I was wondering if you wanted to come.”

He looks at her with a puzzled expression on his face, “A Stranger Things marathon?”

“Yeah, it’s a Netflix show about these kids in the 80’s that’s kind of sci-fi-ish.It’s pretty good,” she assures him and then further explains, “Otis, Cruz and I marathoned the first two seasons.Cruz has kind of been missing Otis since the elevator incident and then the baby news.So Chloe thought this might cheer him up a bit.”

She gets a far away look then continues in a smaller voice, “to be honest, I’ve been thinking of Otis a lot lately too.How he’s missing out on so much.”

Matt stands up and opens his arms.Sylvie hesitates for a moment before stepping into his embrace. 

“Of course I’ll be there,” he says tucking her head under his chin. _This is nice_ , he thinks. _Being her friend is nice._ He wishes they could stay like this a bit longer but then the bells go off.

It’s a call for Ambulance 61.Sylvie mumbles a quick thanks then extracts herself from Matt.She opens the door before quickly turning around.Smiling brightly, she says, “there might also be a game of charades.You and I made a great team last time.We should pair up again. We’d crush them.”

Matt smiles what feels like is his first genuine smile in a long time.Grinning, he nods, “count on it.”

She laughs and turns, running towards the app floor.

His eyes follow her through the bunk room.He’s still smiling long after she’s gone.

The suffocating feeling in his chest is almost gone.

 _Maybe,_ he thinks, _it isn’t quite over yet._

_****_

It’s four weeks after their Stranger Things marathon/game night.Sylvie was right.Stranger Things was a good show and they indeed crushed charades.Nobody even came close.

He’s outside Sylvie’s apartment now.He’s knocked a few times but got no answer.Maybe he should have called in advance.He heard Sylvie telling Kidd yesterday about her broken garbage disposal.He thought he would come over and fix it for her.God knows when her landlord would get to it.

Staring at her door, he can’t help but remember the last time he was here.He wishes he could have told her then how he really felt.He’s replayed that night over and over in his head.Thought of what he should have actually said instead of “its complicated” and “I don’t know.”

He’s about to text her when he hears a set of footsteps.Sylvie’s humming to herself, jangling her keys, in an oversized hoodie and leggings.She stops when she sees him.

“Casey?” Sylvie asks, “what are you doing here?Did we have something planned that I forgot about?”

He turns to face her, rubbing his neck.“I, uh, was in the area and thought I’d swing by and fix your garbage disposal.I heard you, uh, telling Stella about it.”

“Oh,” she says, looking a bit confused, “sure, that would be helpful.I talked to the landlord but he hasn’t been by to check on it.”

Sylvie unlocks her door and lets him in.

“Give me ten minutes.I just came from a spin class and really need to shower,” she laughs.

“Take your time,” he says, “I’ll get started in the kitchen.”

****

It doesn’t take him long to fix the disposal.He’s finishing up when Sylvie appears in the kitchen in a pair of sweats and an old CFD t-shirt he remembers from the muster a few years ago.Her hair wet and face bare. _God, she just looks really beautiful right now,_ he thinks.

“I ordered some dinner.I figured it’s the least I could do to thank you for helping me out,” she tells him.

“It’s nothing, really,” he says while tightening one last screw, “should work now.”

He turns on the disposal and surely enough, it makes the appropriate noises garbage disposals make.

“Thanks, Matt.You’re a lifesaver,” Sylvie smiles at him.

He thinks this day may be the first time she started calling him Matt again.He hopes she doesn’t stop.

****

They’re having pizza and talking about everything and nothing.It’s as close to normal as they’ve gotten, he muses.Sylvie’s showing him a new video of Amelia that Scott sent her.Amelia’s grown so much since the last time they saw her.Matt knows it’s been hard for her not being able to visit.

He offers to drive her to Rockford when COVID restrictions ease up.

He glances up and notices that she’s looking at him the same way she looked at him at Molly’s Patio when Gallo recounted how he jumped out of 81 to get to her.

He thinks this this the moment when he needs to tell her that maybe being friends isn’t really enough, not for him at least.

Before he can open his mouth, she gets up and walks to the fridge asking if he’d like another beer.The moment broken.

He clears his throat telling her, “it’s getting late, I should probably get going.”

He grabs his tool box and takes one last look at her.She’s gazing at him with a bit of sadness in her eyes, maybe some disappointment.It stops him in his tracks.He can’t shake this feeling that maybe he really can’t be _just_ friends. 

He has to tell her at some point.Maybe that point is _right now._

“Sylvie, can we talk?” he asks.

He can see the hesitation in her eyes, the conflict, some fear.

“Matt,” she starts, “we just got this, this friendship back,” gesturing between the two of them, “it’s almost back to normal, right?What’s there left to talk about?”

 _A lot,_ he thinks, then braces himself.He runs into burning buildings for a living but talking to Sylvie about feelings kind of terrifies him. 

He inhales.

_Now of never, Casey.Now or never._

He exhales.

“A lot, Sylvie,” he begins, “look, I just want you to hear me out.I know I’ve said some things.Maybe I’ve said the wrong things but being around you makes my brain short circuit. It’s like I’m sixteen all over again.It was _never_ like this before.I don’t want to mess this up again,” he sighs.

She nods and he takes it as his sign to continue, determination evident in his voice.

“It’s different with you.I never expected this to happen - it just crept up on me _You_ crept up on me one day and it was like, ‘oh, I don’t want to just be her friend’.I can’t even pinpoint the exact time it happened.It just did.All those moments we shared over the last two years - maybe it was building up and just all bubbled over eventually.That day when ambo crashed, I knew I just couldn’t push down my feelings anymore then when you kissed me, it was like everything was falling into place - I mean, you _felt_ the same way - but afterwards, I couldn’t think straight when you asked me about Gabby.I think it took me awhile to realize what you were really asking.”

He takes a deep breath before powering though, _no backing down now, Casey._

“You’re right, there is no regardless of Gabby.But Gabby’s in the past.I haven’t thought about her.I haven’t even _talked_ to her since her last visit.I’m not in love with Gabby anymore.I haven’t been for a long time.”

He’s looking directly at her as he says all this.He’s hoping she can see the sincerity in his eyes.He breathes.

“I understand if you just want to be friends.I mean, I’ll take whatever it is that you can offer me at this point - anything to still be a part of your life, in whichever way works for you.”

 _This is turning into word vomit really fast,_ he thinks. _He just needs to stop being such a self sacrificing idiot all the time._

Matt steps closer to her.

“But before you completely think about putting me in the friend zone, I think we can be really, really great together.I can’t guarantee there won’t be rough days but I can promise you I won’t shut you out and we’ll work through things together, like how we always have.I know after the last time, it won’t be easy for you to trust me again but I’ll prove to you every single day that I’m worth the risk.If you give me another chance, I think, no, I _know_ we can make each other really, really happy, Sylvie Brett,” he finishes, grinning widely.His blue eyes swimming with confidence as his eyes meets hers.

Sylvie’s just staring at him. Her mouth hanging open slightly.His smile falters.

“Talk to me, Sylvie” he says desperately, “say something, anything.”

“You could have saved us both a lot of time if you had said all that sooner,” she whispers, a smile slowly spreading on her face.Her eyes warm and inviting.

The elephant has stopped stomping on his lungs and he breathes well for the first time since that night.

He closes the distance between them.His hand caresses her cheek as she leans into his touch.When they kiss, he thinks, _after all this time, he finally got it right._

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for taking the time to read this. Hope you’re keeping safe during these unprecedented times. 
> 
> Much love and peace x.


End file.
